Autobiography of the Keexzus, no. 7: BREATHE the WHY

BREATHE. the. WHY.

EVERYTHING I WRITE.

BELIEVE in SOMETHING. BE WILLING to UPSET the HERD. 

CREATE LIKE A GOD.

I have already been booed, heckled, ridiculed, threatened, stalked, chastised. I don’t give a fucking shit. I don’t fear public speaking because I already experienced all the fear-based ‘failure’ most fear. And really it’s nothing. 

Language is but one vehicle. As is the case, carrying buckets of meaning back from Source. The relation and creation of metaphors as how to best carry meaning is not covered in any textbook. It is vital to do linguistic training in order to best capture the incomprehensible. It is the Derridian babble that stifles the mind of many, it is not and is necessary, like a guru asking you if you hear the spring. 

All dissolves into Being.

The endless, nameless,

Becomes One.

Abandon thought,

enter the realm within.

Find an exit in time…

I can understand why some dedicate their entire lives in mountains and caves abandoning the walls of time. Sometimes all I want to do is meditate in an endless communication with what I perceive to be Source. As it fades in light as one follows the trail of language, it has taken endless pain, endless aloneness, endless transformations.

It has taken most of my life to understand any of this.

Silence becomes the incomprehensible, light the unbearable, stillness the awakening out of time. 

Meditation is only a brief travel to the infinite.

And perhaps in the return to Source, unbearable light will communicate the timeless as can only be communicated by god. 

One day, I will die.

SOURCE, SPIRIT, BEING, GOD…. Vs. Narrative, Form, Attachment, Ideology.

‘BUT KEEX, if I am not the narratives and forms that I identify with, then WHO THE FUCK AM I !?!?’ …. re: You are Source. You are Spirit.

MOST say, ‘I AM _(title)_, __(profession)__, __ (tribe)__, ___(political outlook)___.’ Essentially, the battle cry of most: ‘I am a narrative.’ Something patently false.

DISSOLVE. NARRATIVE. 

DISSOLVE. STRUCTURE…. DISSOLVE. TIME. 

LOVE. LOVE. DREAM. TO. LOVE. TO. LOVE. DREAM.

It is this deep silence that unlocks the unknown through the dissolution of time. It is meditation that is communion with God, with the divine, with Source. In the beginning, time was the first construction. In the beginning, there was time. In reality, we are not actors, nor the stage, we are the life animating all forms. I was the subject in a narrative I was identified with unconsciously. I believed it was real. I was the subject seeking form. I was the identified subject. And yet all there is, is the underlying source which pours life into this realm. I was identified with (and fearful of) systems and structures of form, of gatekeepers, of outer judgments and events. It was never the narrative running through mind, it was never the institution or symbolic structure, it was always an awareness of these.

It is simply a knowing through experiencing that which is.

I understand now.

Is is the difference between seeking in the outer-world and excavating in the inner-world.

We believe in the scriptures torn from time, as opposed to the truth torn from Being. 

It is the fabric of time. 

It is often the narrative condition one identifies with.

Nearly all pain has been transformative.

It is from the ocean of Source, it is from this wealth of Being, it is from Spirit that one manifests. 

It is a belief beyond reason.

It is the foundational condition that one must believe in the creative project.

Freedom has become a closed concept, and yet it is not.

It is an escape within. 

We must escape time.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s