I am one seeking Christ-consciousness.

I am a philosopher sculpting stone.

I am an anarchist literary playwright.

Meditation is Spiritual deep-sea diving. It is the avatar emptied of time. No titles, no tribes, no names, no-things, no narratives, no time, as one begins the descent into Being.

The destination that is all that is uncharted. The absolute absence as an act of presence. The no-thing of nothingness. The no-thing of Being. The no-thing of time. It is ideology that offers salvation. It is ideology that offers preservation of the ego, the illusion of separation of One. It is ideology that overwhelms the rational mind in service to ego, that overwhelms and dismantles compassion. The narrative map of ideology charts the surface realm as best is understood by limited perception, compassion.

It is the degree of attachment to these narratives and forms in the outer-world (surface-level) that wreak havoc. These are interpretations of filters of time. It is the outer-world that holds narratives. To exit the surface realm, to enter a timeless realm, to cease the surface world of noise, of form, is true freedom, liberation, Being.

ON the surface, everything is reaction. On the surface, it is a battle of noises. The emotion is the idea.

And the formations of thoughts take place thereafter. And once before time, love love dreams. As is the realization as according to the depth of consciousness. As with the passage of time, as slowed by meditation or accelerated by thought. The living, breathing no-thing. And consciousness realizes itself as the breathing ocean within and without. Until the shaping, the sculpting ceases. The shaping and reshaping of time as is according to thought, to mind and all corridors therein.

As is thought unleashed traveling an unmasked terrain as is belief beyond the case as is a time beyond time.

Writing on the ledge of time…

within complete immersion…. the world stops…. until there is no time… and

An entrance toward Olympus,

Athena lost in thought.

Carthage, Rome, Athens communicating via scribes.

The silence of a crawling mass of light disfiguring breathing shadows within darkness and light, time and Being.

Finding yellow-brick roads of myrrh

Waves of air extending upon light fantastic majesty to grace

the Imagining of different worlds

Transcribing every eternity

Traces of Christ, trails of Buddha, the faint heartbeat of Spirit lost

I was a monster roaming the streets of time

in search of god


One day, humanity will choose love over fear.

One day, this will become apparent on a worldwide scale. One day, peace will reign. One day, the fear and selfishness of man will dissolve. The artificial borders we create, the narratives and tribal customs we identify with are all human-made, mind-made. They are fictions made real.

Beyond labels, products, titles, things, and the narratives one identifies with, there is Source that animates all forms. It is not a thing. It is not a possession. It is not a culture. It is not a product to buy. What I am speaking about is energy. It is Spirit.

We find peace and calm in the the space of no thing. It is not a sacred-object to obtain, friends. IT is a self-realization about connectivity. The caricature that exists is not truth. Strip away archaic notions of God and dogma and institutional top-down governance. Strip away all and find what remains. Start there, friends. 

It is not weakness to allow yourself to express emotion. People are afraid to appear vulnerable. The cynics are the most afraid. Strip away ego and strip away fear. I’d rather see 1,000,000 tweets about compassion, empathy, and solidarity than click bait. 

Compassion matters.


One must aim for a shift in consciousness.

One needs language so strong in power, in meaning, it will cause a cosmic shift in time, in consciousness. The world’s greatest metaphor has yet to be written. If all consciousness is poured into all living beings, then the end of the world would be a return to source, to one living Being. It would be fragmentation healed. It is a flooding of consciousness. It is the endless cosmic motion picture playing before our eyes. It is the collective rendering of one experience. It is the archaeology of Spirit, of Time, and Being.

It is an excavation of the heart’s content. As is the case, it is not a philosophical investigation but a philosophical excavation of time. The world is the narrative come alive within the actor identifying with the play. The narrative is as is written. The world is the world is the world.

It is identification with form that begins a chain of identifications, obsessions with fiction. We are creatures filled with consciousness, animated with Spirit, and yet we are deluded and believe we are form.

The most dangerous word in language is love. It is an idea that at best is misunderstood, it is a word that describes many things all at once and has lost value as a signifier, yet can still exist wholly as a transcendental signified. What is humanity but a collection of flesh filled with consciousness?

I was a literary creature roaming the streets of time. And within that world, there was more within mind, within time, and within the world of stories I would read and create. A collective narrative creating more psychological time, cosmic drama and pain. A creature living in a world that often felt surreal in its madness. A creature tortured in time. And yet still, no matter how straight my teeth are now, or how fit I feel (relative to past), I still at times feels like that monster no one loved alone in time.

A cosmic motion picture. The past feels like a distant dream.


I have been fortunate to have had my reality destroyed, to fall endlessly, to experience merciless unending pain. Let go of any and all fears. Let go. You can be free, you are free, as soon as you allow yourself to be. I want the world to be free of prejudice, of hatred, of fear. I want all of you to be free.

Love is god….

All else is delusion….

Where is god ?

Once we embrace love, we become god.

[note: post 8, 147. I had previously written Philosophy of the Keexzus which was the 1st series. The 2nd series was Autobiography of the Keexzus. I believe it is time to stop titling them. I don’t know why. This would have been Autobiography of the Keexzus, no. 8.]





I have already been booed, heckled, ridiculed, threatened, stalked, chastised. I don’t give a fucking shit. I don’t fear public speaking because I already experienced all the fear-based ‘failure’ most fear. And really it’s nothing. 

Language is but one vehicle. As is the case, carrying buckets of meaning back from Source. The relation and creation of metaphors as how to best carry meaning is not covered in any textbook. It is vital to do linguistic training in order to best capture the incomprehensible. It is the Derridian babble that stifles the mind of many, it is not and is necessary, like a guru asking you if you hear the spring. 

All dissolves into Being.

The endless, nameless,

Becomes One.

Abandon thought,

enter the realm within.

Find an exit in time…

I can understand why some dedicate their entire lives in mountains and caves abandoning the walls of time. Sometimes all I want to do is meditate in an endless communication with what I perceive to be Source. As it fades in light as one follows the trail of language, it has taken endless pain, endless aloneness, endless transformations.

It has taken most of my life to understand any of this.

Silence becomes the incomprehensible, light the unbearable, stillness the awakening out of time. 

Meditation is only a brief travel to the infinite.

And perhaps in the return to Source, unbearable light will communicate the timeless as can only be communicated by god. 

One day, I will die.

SOURCE, SPIRIT, BEING, GOD…. Vs. Narrative, Form, Attachment, Ideology.

‘BUT KEEX, if I am not the narratives and forms that I identify with, then WHO THE FUCK AM I !?!?’ …. re: You are Source. You are Spirit.

MOST say, ‘I AM _(title)_, __(profession)__, __ (tribe)__, ___(political outlook)___.’ Essentially, the battle cry of most: ‘I am a narrative.’ Something patently false.




It is this deep silence that unlocks the unknown through the dissolution of time. It is meditation that is communion with God, with the divine, with Source. In the beginning, time was the first construction. In the beginning, there was time. In reality, we are not actors, nor the stage, we are the life animating all forms. I was the subject in a narrative I was identified with unconsciously. I believed it was real. I was the subject seeking form. I was the identified subject. And yet all there is, is the underlying source which pours life into this realm. I was identified with (and fearful of) systems and structures of form, of gatekeepers, of outer judgments and events. It was never the narrative running through mind, it was never the institution or symbolic structure, it was always an awareness of these.

It is simply a knowing through experiencing that which is.

I understand now.

Is is the difference between seeking in the outer-world and excavating in the inner-world.

We believe in the scriptures torn from time, as opposed to the truth torn from Being. 

It is the fabric of time. 

It is often the narrative condition one identifies with.

Nearly all pain has been transformative.

It is from the ocean of Source, it is from this wealth of Being, it is from Spirit that one manifests. 

It is a belief beyond reason.

It is the foundational condition that one must believe in the creative project.

Freedom has become a closed concept, and yet it is not.

It is an escape within. 

We must escape time.






IT is the intolerable silence of GOD that IS GOD.

As is the case, it is the realm of the mystical, the magical that often breaks through egoic walls. Behind EVERY transformation there has been endless pain. I have been fortunate to dis-identify with many things. I believe my mind is endlessly destroying itself, endlessly structuring and rewriting what it is to be alive. 

IF you’re reading THIS, I LOVE YOU.

There will come a time when violence, conflict, and war will become completely intolerable. There will come a time when the cosmic motion picture of this world will evolve past plays and narratives and histories that end in conflict. There will be a time when division, conflict, violence will become so intolerable, only the solution will remain: unbearable compassion.

There will be a time when collective ego and delusion will become intolerable.

There will be a time when laws and borders will not be necessary for compassion and love will make those identity markers intolerable. The world is the living, breathing event.

It is the 7 billion critics trying to amass interpretation of the living, breathing event. 

It is the endless cosmic motion picture. 

I write with a sense of urgency not knowing how much time I ever have on Earth. It is the crawling creature wandering into the abyss. My heart is bleeding throughout time. In the inner world, there is the endless peace of god.

It is within the inner space that one unearths that which had been unseen, unheard, incomprehensible. The creation of space without form. It was once thought monsters would be crucified, killed, hunted, but what if the sacred is found in the unknown. It is not that the unknown is or is not the fear one wills but perhaps an entrance into the Divine one would infinitely dread even more.

Find the space inside the narrative.

It is the collapse of binary thinking, structural language, and ego based assumption that falls way. 

It is the disintegration of time.

It is the falling away of narrative walls.

It is the time structure itself becoming free. It is the limitless freedom one had feared unbearable. It is the no space of language, of time, of form. It is the formless, timeless stillness.

It is god without flesh.

Transform the nature of time, of Being, unleash Spirit.

Drown in the creative Spirit of Being.

I can often hear birds sing, as the wind speaks its language. Into frontiers unknown, we begin to transform. From an ocean of consciousness, we are vessels filled with Spirit. Identification with the mind and body is the beginning. We will then identify with the ideology and system that best serves our interests and outlooks. In this dream, there will be ideological blind spots caused by identification with forms. In this dream, we will believe we are each fighting for our own version of freedom. In this cosmic drama, we play our roles.

Now let us rip away the face of time.

I am in my car listening to Santana. I haven’t cried in weeks. I feel relatively healthy, save a few cavities. I relinquish all heroes from my past: Dostoevsky, Kafka, Chomsky, Derrida, Zizek, Hegel, and Shakespeare. Sometimes I fear I will truly die alone. 

 It is this world that is unfolding…

within a theater. 

Not just the expectation of a sole binary, but the expectation of its deconstruction, and the exploration of transcendence. That is the most succinct way I can transcribe the rotating event. To create space where one can talk about things without ideological attachment or endorsement. That being said, the most dangerous thing is to write and say out loud what one truly thinks (if it originates from Source). Most of the world is afraid because they speak from the ego they identify with. 

The exploration of thought and the exploration of time and narrative is necessary. Prohibition creates want, outrage creates resentment, and yet these are the tools of modern discourse. (political). To transform the political world will perhaps require something more powerful than ancient rules on limiting thought structure. IF at a foundational level one wants peace, then what is the road toward that goal?

It is not what has been.

The transformation of world consciousness toward an end goal of sustained peace will require an unprecedented love. 

And perhaps that is the most misused word in language if only because it is often applied to material consciousness and form. And a final portrait even now is far away and incomplete. The consideration for the world to comprehend and dwell in the vertical dimension of time and inherit the inner world of Spirit will take time…

It will take the very thing it will need to overcome. 


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